Saturday, January 2, 2021

Avengers #376: 1994 - Great looking gals battle for something or other

This 1994 issue has a $1.50 cover price. I see a good mint copy going on Amazon for under 5 bucks. Mine is unbagged but is in pretty good shape. I'm not sure I ever read this, but the events are fairly unmemorable so I probably did. The odds are good that I bought this off the rack, though this was around the time I was stopping buying new comics on the regular. But a buck fifty was still reasonable for a good looking book. I have a handful of Avengers from that time I think. I'd have to look in other boxes for them; but Crystal is wearing that flight jacket the Avengers, even Cap, wore over their tights at that time. I plucked this out of the same box I got my previous posts from. Most of the comics are unbagged, and some are from more recent years picked up at a garage sale or whatever, so this box is probably just a utility comic box for items floating around that I hadn't grouped with their related collections. But this one is a mystery. I don't even remember having it. So yeah I either never read it or I read it decades ago and forgot about it. 

The writer here is Joey Cavalieri, the artist and inker is Grant Miehm. Neither are names I remember. 







The cover could have had a lot to do why 20ish me bought it. Crystal has those proportions that were getting popular in 90's comics. Those bosoms are coming atcha. But honestly outside of Crystal's stunning looks the cover is pretty dynamic. Great action shot. Its appealing for a lot of reasons. And the nude-ish figure to the right lends some mystery to it. Death of an Inhuman? Hell, as comic readers we can read between the lines. The question mark tells you nobody will die. 

The story begins with a lone Crystal at Avengers Mansion. She seems to be in one of those "I just want to belong because I am so different" type of moods. She "seeks out" those who are like herself (she has been in the Fantastic Four decades prior, hung out with the X-Men, and eventually an Avenger). I find this a bit ironic, seeing as Crystal always seemed like one of the least aloof and unweird Inhumans, and has successfully had relationships with humans and mutants. She "belongs" to many things (humanity, mutantkind, etc) more than many others seem to. 



As she ponders her life, we flash to an obscure (this is his only appearance I think) Inhuman named Spore who is under attack from a well armed and armored mercenary calling himself the "Janissary." (see definition at bottom of page). Spore can pop out slightly weaker duplicates of himself, but is no match for Janissary. The armored merc uses weapons that he clearly bought from black market sites, and he spouts the verbiage of whatever ads he originally saw. When he uses a grenade he's like "The Zendlander 8, when you absolutely must get the job done" and "the Killco fire-emitters - when you absulutely must kill every last mother fucker in the room" kind of stuff. Janissary takes down the host body of Spore, but one last dupe manages to sneak away. 



Back at Avengers Manse, Crystal plays with her cute as a button toddler. She looks just like mommy, thought I don't see any resemblance to dad Quicksilver. Hmm. I think I may see a little Johnny Storm in those eyes. This issue being from so long ago I of course wonder how old the kid is portrayed these days (in real time she'd be about 30). The Spore dupe comes busting in looking for help from a fellow Inhuman, and Crystal being a loyal royal  doesn't hesitate. Spore can detect his boss-body, so a Quinjet is fired up and off they fly to the Andes mountains. 

At the villains base Janissary locks up Spore, and takes some delight in torturing him with his "Pain Master 26." His fun is halted by his employer. She is a Geneticist, so of course she is a young and beautiful woman with a voluptuous figure.  Hey, if you can accept that anybody short of a billionaire can have a secret lab in a place as remote as the Andes Mountains then you should have no trouble with a drop dead gorgeous scientist. 



Her plan is to use Spores Inhuman DNA to give herself some super powers, so she strips down and steps into the device to get things going. Our gal Crystal enters the base and immediately encounters The Janissary. She is kind of weak from using her powers to get into the base, but that doesn't stop her from busting out some karate power moves curtesy of training from her fellow Inhuman Karnak. Jannisary uses a gas grenade, but Crys blows the stuff back into the guys face, taking him out. 

Crystal then confronts the main villain, who now not only has cool energy blast and flight powers (which she can use effectively right away with no training), but a totally bitchin villain costume that shows off her more physical "assets." She calls herself "Terrigene" and takes the battle to Crys' grill, monologuing about Crystal being a fool for rejecting her royal family to live among normals, while Terrigene plans to create an army of super humans to live with. Crystal will have none of that, and manages to take the baddy down with a combo of grit and what little power she has left. It seems Terrigene's human cells cannot hold the DNA as well as an Inhuman, and she depowers pretty quickly. 

She explains that her parents were scientists who disowner her due to her shameful genetic experiments, and she did all this to make a new family that she can relate to. Confident that that lady is a threat no more, Chrystal takes Spore to the jet and gets back to the mansion to reunite with her kid. 








Writing: the story is pretty basic. Save a friend captured by a bad guy. Janissary being a walking advert for his gear is a nice touch. An odd moment that stands out is Crystal using her powers to blast down part of the mountain to enter the base, and then going "oh, there's an entrance over there." She has to go into battle with two foes with a weakened power set after getting in, and they probably could have come up with a way to do this without making the otherwise capable girl look like an idiot. But either way, her having to combat Janissary with her sweet hand to hand skills is a nice touch I liked. 

 As far as the new villains, it doesn't look like they ever made later appearances, which tells you something. But just the fact that Terrigene was able to pretty much create new Inhumans would make you think she would for sure return. But nope. She smartened up. Or maybe she and Janissary got trapped in the Andes lair with no way out and died. Or Spore snuck back in and murdered them. Who knows.

The art is serviceable. The girls look amazing in many shots, and not just because of their endowments. The action shots are good, and include a double page (that you have to hold sideways to read) spread of Terrigene busting out her new powers. Though its all kind of basic, there are nice touches. Crystal's face is given some character, when over the years she looked very basic with no stand out features other than her hair. Here the artist gives her that cute upturned nose look.  Also the Janissary having a slight 5 o'clock shadow gives off a "thug with gear he didn't invent" vibe.

Again, I don't remember even having this comic. Its fairly unmemorable. Nothing really to sing about, other than a nice cover, a few good action shots within, and I suppose Crystal getting a solo adventure makes it a bit special. Certainly any Crystal fan out there should have this. If you get it for a buck or less then its worth it for anybody. 

Yeah, I really like the cover. 

I give it 3 out of 5 Forbush Men.

Cheers


"Janissary"
a member of the Turkish infantry forming the Sultan's guard between the 14th and 19th centuries.
  • a devoted follower or supporter.