Rereading Justice League International Annual #2: 1988 - Big Barda's weenie obsession

This 1988 issue has a $1.50 cover price. I see a fine copy going for just under 15 bucks on Ebay. Mine was never bagged and a little worse for wear. At this time I went through a Justice League phase for some reason despite being a Marvel dude, so I probably bought it off the rack.  A buck fifty was still reasonable for a comic book. This was still during my active comic buying years.  The cover sure could have drawn me in. 

The story title on the cover is "Private Lives" but inside it's "Hit or miss."

I didn't really intend to do the next JL annual after my previous post, but I'm operating out of the same long box and there it was next to JL annual #1. So what the heck. I grew up a Marvel guy, but I have plenty of DC's. This was the first annual to bear the "International" addition, and this was the period of big chuckles in JLA/JLI. Not just from the Martin and Lewisesque team of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, but everybody seems to want in on the yucks with only Batman serving as straight man. Just like the previous annual this ish is brought to you by 

J.M. DeMatteis

and Keith Giffen joined by Bill Willingham on art. In my last post I got the revelation that Bill had done some of my favorite old school Dungeons and Dragons artwork. I love some of what he does here, and hate some of the other stuff, but I'll get into that. 

I really need to start out saying that for me the Joker sucks in this. I mean really suuuuucks. I'm not sure what they were going for, or if this was how the guy was portrayed in the 80's before Tim Burtons Batman. It's hard to pin down. He's kind of a mildly gay, cross dressing goofy neighbor in spiked heels from a sitcom type of character. His humor is more lame than funny. If you consider the Joker being a fan of Peoples Court ("I looooove Judge Wapner!!") and Entertainment Tonight, and going through a McDonalds drive-thru and ordering a "malt" and several burgers spot on as far as his antics go, then I may be way off here. But in all his incarnations this is the least menacing. What you find within is nothing like the fierce, grinning monster we got in the 70's, poisoning the masses with toxic fish, though the cover seems to get what we want out of him. Oh sure, he kills a couple guys, mainly lacky's helping him in his task, but its almost a throwaway. I mean yeah, its fairly insane, but nothing Lex Luthor or Vandal Savage wouldn't do if a henchman annoyed them.  Hey, the Joker kills people. But still there is no real menace. Maybe he's going through a muscle relaxer addiction at the time? Valium maybe?

So in a nutshell the Joker teams up with some Colonel from that South American country DC used a lot for stuff. If the colonel lends Joker some goons he'll assassinate the Justice League. 

The League is shown in pairs as was the trend at the time, going about various schemes with the main theme being Scott Free and Big Barda are having a BBQ that afternoon so everybody runs their errands before the party. Green Flame and Ice Maiden go on a model audtion. Booster and Beetle take on a repo job (in their civilian identies) that turns out to be about a super tank that was stolen. Martian Manhunter 

 and who I think is Rocket Red, in civilian garb, walk around Brighton Beach and end up in a Russian Restaurant. 

Joker tools around in a limo and makes his assassination attempts here and there. Not his usual crazy, high body count schemes, but just using a sniper rifle and such like a common hitman. He takes a shot at the girls, but Flame drops her purse and in bending down gets missed by the bullet. Ha ha. He tries to get the drop on J'onn and Red, but the restaurant is now a raucous, table dancing vodka party so he stomps away in a huff. Haha. Really, the Joker shown on the cover would have relished a chance at such a kill count, but no. He just get annoyed and kills another henchman.

Beetle and Booster manage to repo the big tank, and decide to pick up Green Flame and Ice Maiden with it and drive it to the party. 

At the Miracle House, Barda works in the kitchen, her running joke being the mystery of weenies. No really, she ponders the imponderable of hot dogs while Scott and Guy Gardner, rendered retarded I think by a punch from Batman in a previous issue, try to assemble and start a grill. You heard that right. Scott Free, supra genius and able to break down and rebuild a mother box in minutes, is having trouble getting his Weber up and running. I have to say that Big Barda, artistically, is a stand out here. As a Marvel guy I was mostly familiar with the big DC guys like Superman, Bats, and Wonder Woman. Mister Miracle was one of thos things I knew a little about but never read much on. Barda was just this big, maybe a little fat, armored warrior to me. But here she looks great in a really small, tight bikini. She's tall and curvy, but pretty much in proportion. I have a few problems with how some are rendered in his issue, but Barda looks amazing in every panel. I became a fan here. I looked up "Big Barda bikini" and got a ton of images showing here in a state of undress with a wide variety of body types, from thin to full on fat. I guess she is one of those characters artists take a lot of license with.  

So our story comes all together when the party starts and all are in attendance. The writers take their usual stabs at humor that mostly falls flat, like Oberron getting hit in the head by a football, or Manhunter rejecting hot dogs and asking for Twinkies. In a nutshell Joker shows up, steals the tank, attacks, and Manhunter and Barda destroy it no sweat. Joker crawls out crying "I wanna go back to Arkham!"

Here's the shittiest part, the lame punchline of the issue. Batman comes rolling in with the Batmobile(a compact version, actually), sees the carnage in the street, and does a 180 and peels out with a "I'm not in the mood" statement or whatever. Joker sees him and give chase "save my knight in not so shining armor!"

Yeah, its that bad. But icing on the cake has Flame baffled that Bats doesn't want a "weenie." Flame would say "hot dog" but I guess its maybe a regional thing? Naw. that line was clearly meant for Barda who isn't even in the panel.

Justice League annual #1, from my last post, was by the same creative crew and it stood mile above this mess. I actually really like seeing heroes in normal situations going about their lives. A backyard BBQ with any superheroes sounds great to me. But man, some good writing and dialogue helps with that. Otherwise it can be total crap, such as this. I mean, if you injected a character more know for impishness here, like maybe Penguin or Mr. Mxysptlik(sp) or something it would have worked better. Turning Joker into an incompetent failure just boggles my mind. 

I mean, how about this. Just have Joker in the shadows as the team goes about their private moments. Then have the party attack be a nadir moment for Barda and Scot, their peaceful and serene suburban life violated. Things are going great, the party is all fun, then Joker shows up and blows up the house, maybe killing somebody like Oberon. Maybe cripple Ice Maiden. Batman shows up and takes him away and Joker laughs and says "now that was a party to remember!"  We would still be talking about this issue. But no, this was clearly the years of a Hyuckle  Macyuk Justice League. You know, like what they did with Snyders JL movie when he left. 

Stand out iconic moment: Joker going into full crybaby mode at the end and mincing off towards the retreating Batmobile. Its cringy to the max. Joker should be getting dragged off bloody and laughing his head off. 

Overall grade: 2 out of 5 Forbush Mans.  I think that this was just one of those great ideas spoiled by the execution. 

Cheers,

Kevin Mac

Rereading Justice League Annual #1: 1987 - Martian Manhunter vs. Everybody

This 1987 issue had a $1.75 US cover price. Notably the lower left corner features a Watchmen comic advert.  I see a fine copy online going for 20 bucks. My copy is unbagged and a little worse for wear. 

This is the only Justice League annual of the time period. Later annuals have the Justice League International title. The cover and interiors are provided by Bill Willingham, a name I don't really remember from anywhere (see below). Writing chores done by

J.M. DeMatteis

and Keith Giffen, names I do know. There's a bunch of inkers involved, a different one for each segment/team-up. 

The inside title is "Germ Warfare."

When I popped open the box I saw this right away at the front of the line, but I knew I hadn't looked at it in years. But I instantly recalled the coolness of Manhunter having to deal with the entire league attacking to kill, including Batman. 

The synopsis according to the DC fandom page: 

"In the South Pacific, several employees of Kord Industries arrive via helicopter to a compound that the company bought recently for an undisclosed purpose. They enter the structure and a silent, pale-skinned woman with red eyes follows behind them. They turn around and make eye contact and then immediately fly away in their helicopter."

After the intro scene we observe the control room of Justice League HQ. Are they on a satellite at this point in time? They never mention it or show the exterior. Part of the control room  wall is natural looking stone, so that may indicate its on Earth. Anyway, the entire team seems present. Batman, Guy Gardner in his big ol' Mega City One boots and Moe Howard haircut, Fate, Mister Miracle, Blue Beetle, Black Canary, Booster Gold, and J'onn J'onzz. Some are at a table playing Poker. This was the Jokey McJokerson Justice League period leading into the relentless hyuk hyuks of Justice League International, a comic I collected for a year or so back then. And the biggest attempt at chuckles always featured Batman acting as a daddy figure to the smarmy and/or angry and assholish Gardner.

Seems The Dark Knight, who you would think usually have better things to do, wants guy to leave his winning poker session to do his scheduled monitor duty. Did I mention the entire League was present? In the control room? And they all seem to be just milling around. Personally I'd just get a responsible person to do the important job and continue to just tolerate Guy for his heavy hitter status, but that's just me. 

Hey wait. Didn't the Super Friends in the 70's have an automated computerized alert system? Maybe it's on the fritz. So anyway, it takes Dr. Fate creeping over to loom over and menace The Green Lantern to get him to smarten up and do his job. Note: there is a Justice League issue of the period where a similar situation has Guy taking off his ring to have a fisty dustup with Bats, and for a split second I thought this was that, but no. I'll maybe get around to that issue, but for now Guy sits down to earn his Chicken Tendies...

Guy has barely sat down when he sees a report pop up regarding "diverse population groups acting as if influenced by a single will..."  and its happening all over the world.

Batman then questions if this is league business. Really? Possible mind control world wide isn't league worthy? I'm not really sure I'm all in on a Batman who hangs around the HQ busting slacker's chops for their work ethic, and hemming and hawing what is clearly a global danger. Is he just constipated or something? Well, more concerned voices prevail.

The team splits up in two's; Booster and Canary; Guy and Batman; Beetle and Miracle; and Manhunter and Fate. Dr. Fate teleports each group to their international locals.  Interesting about Beetle and Booster. Soon in JL comics they would constantly get paired up to squeeze every last drop of Hope/Crosby goodness out of their patter.

Booster Gold and Black Canary are in Paris, and Boost wastes no time making with the "smooth moves," being in Gay Pareee with a beautiful blond in his arms (his words). This seems to cast a palor over the entire encounter. I guess by Boosters future world the #metoo movement has been long forgotten. Did Trump win a second (or longer) term?  They manage to continue the awkward exchange as they deal with zombified nurses and patients at a hospital taken over by the mind virus, and are fairly quickly "converted," their eyes getting all dark and spooky. Their word balloons as well. We all know what jagged balloons mean, right? Scary voice. 

Batman and Green Lantern drop in on a Tokyo research facility, still arguing. Bats is telling Guy to behave, and the Lantern doesn't want to be treated like a kid anymore. "I want respect, damn it!" Batman lets him know, just like your booze swilling dad, or high school coach (also swilling booze) that if you want respect you need to earn it. At the facility the female Dr. Light and a crowd of fellow zombies waste no time trying to indoctrinate the bickering couple. Guys makes a very scary ogre on a tank shape thingy, but its all over fast. Batman gets taken over by a kiss from Light, very poison Ivy-like.

Miracle and Beetle arrive at Kord America in the Beetle-mobile or whatever its call. Even though his usual Buddy Booster Gold is not present, Beetle tries to hit the goofy banter notes and Mister Miracle is up for the challenge. Two things stand out in the first couple pages. First the Beetle Plane goes into a very cool rooftop landing pose, its front legs reaching out to soften impact. On the next page there is a single panel showing a crowd of zombies pushing Miracle off the edge. Then several panels show the process of his fall, then him pulling out his flight disks, attaching them to his feet, then rising back up. Beetle shouts "Miracle!" and as he floats up triumphantly "that's my name."  This is all very cool, and one of the best moments out of all the first encounters. The duo escape, but you can't escape the virus. They are infected. Hey dudes, when facing a virus you need the mask over your mouth.

Manhunter and Dr. Fate are in a park is Sydney, and its chock full of the infected. Fate lets J'onn know he's safe cuz he's a Martian (not one of those HG Wells Martians who are super-susceptible to viruses) and that nothing can harm Fate. After saying the humble brag, he is immediately taken over by the virus, but not before tossing his Magic helmet away. Manhunter books out of their and back to the HQ (shown to be a rocky hill, so now I know its no satellite). He realizes he is now the only free will on the planet. Only one thing to do; don the helmet of Dr. Fate. The yellow helm really clashes with the greens and blues of J'onn, but it does lay some knowledge on him. The virus is a sentient cell, created in a lab, that takes over the human form on a cellular level. "Human fools!" 

Carrying the helmet Manhunter zooms to Gentech, the birthplace of the virus. Here he is confronted by the zombie Justice League, and this issues showpiece begins. Miracle hits him with a "maggot bomb" or something and flies towards the Martian. J'onn yanks him off his flight disks, and changes shape to elude the bomb trap while touting out about his amazing abilities the virus now faces. He has superman level strength. He can change shape at will, read minds, turn invisible.  He blows the Beetle Plane away with super-breath, He throws Guy Gardner into orbit. The League just cannot handle this mighty Mary Sue. So the virus gathers up the zombie citizens into a three story blob of bodies to attack. It looks bad, but J'onn knows what to do. He sticks the Fate helmet on one of the blob heads. Dr. Fate now controls the virus, but what to do with it? His solution is simple and brutal; Martian Manhunter can trap it within his alien cells. It is done, and the day is won. The League thanks him for his sacrifice, all except Guy that is. "don't come too close, it may be catching. Hyuk hyuk."

Art: it's not bad at all. Willingham does a decent amount of detail on background stuff, be it city, mountain, or jungle. The crowd of inkers involved (why was this?) sort of changes each segment up. There are moments were the casual reader might think different pencillers were involved (see personal notes below).

Writing: S'all good, man. Though in later life I'm torn on all this joking around in the League comics. Its like every character wants to be Downey's Tony Stark. But the story is solid. World-wide crisis? Check. The team breaking up into smaller groups for better character development? Check. How the hell do we beat this? Check. Its basic stuff with a few very cool moments. Miracles self-save in a fall; Manhunter's dealing with a hostile League and not breaking a sweat (the presence of Superman would have changed that up, but then again he would probably have been immune). I was not a Manhunter fan growing up, but I got to like him here. The rumor I heard years ago was that Superman writers back in the day kept adding powers to him, and editorial gave them Manhunter to lay abilities on so they would leave Supes alone.  Not sure if that's true, but I hope it is. 

Stand out iconic moment: I remembered this comic because of the cool fight against his buddies with J'onn crowing about his bitchin' powers. But the truly iconic moment of this ish has to be J'onn wearing the Fate helmet. 

Overall grade: 4 out of 5 Forbush Mans. Very enjoyable and fairly memorable comic. The main turnoffs are Booster and Canary's tiring "war of the sexes" banter, and Batman himself. I hate that he stands around bitching at Guy. Not just here, but later in Justice League International he does it some more. C'mon. 

Personal note: In googling Willingham, I see that he hasn't done a lot of comics I know, but he did a lot of work on 70's Dungeons and Dragons items of my childhood. He did art in some of my favorite D&D adventure modules, including Against the Giants and Isle of Dread. Very cool.

Cheers,

Mac

An Origin

Greeting people of Earth! Always on the lookout for new podcasts to listen to at work and the gym and such, I recently discovered some comic book related ones (my favorite previous pods include The Adam Carolla podcast, How did this get Made, You Must Remember This, and Gilbert's Amazing Colossal Podcast) most notably Back to the Bins and The Quarter Bin podcast with Professor Allan. On these shows the knowledgeable and often very funny hosts discuss comics I grew up with (mostly 70's and 80's stuff). In the early 2000's I sold half my collection on Ebay (many bought by a college library back east), but I still held on to several long boxes.

When I was around 7 it all started when my folks brought me a pile of old comics they got at a swap meet, and at that point it was game on. My collection, some bought off the rack new comics, but mostly garnered second hand at swap meets, yard sales, and local shops, grew (mostly Marvels) exponentially until around 1994 or so when the cover prices were getting redick. Though I got my hands on the occasional newish comic (almost never near full price) most of my new comics knowledge came from the trades, and from bi-weekly browsing sessions at Hi Di Ho comics in Santa Monica. I'd smoke a joint in the car or on the beach then head in to read until I got worried I'd get dirty looks. Though that was unlikely. Hi Di Ho, a world famous shop, was started years before by a guy who was on my dad's local pub dart team.

Those boxes were mostly a burden, especially the other year when I moved from Southern California to The northwest. Still, every few years I crack off a top and take a brief peek at my old faves. Recently those comic book podcasts have inspired me to spend some weekend afternoon time with a bloody mary or vodka tonic and those old comics. So what the heck, why not write about them? I had a tabletop gaming blog some years ago, so I'm not a total noob. Or am I?

As an adult I never had any serious comic book fan friends. Oh, some had a little knowledge, but I tended to be alone in my love. I didn't go to conventions or otherwise hang out with comic nuts, so my love of comics was mostly a solo affair. That I think is a main reason I want to do this blog. I love to talk comics. I just never get to. Well, here is my chance.

Anyway, for this blog I plan to just put a long box on the couch and pull out a somewhat random comic to discuss. Marvel, DC, Flash in the Pan company, or whatever. I hope you can read along but if not, hey, I'm reading it for you.

I hope to read your comments.

Cheers

Kevin Mac